Culture: May 2008 Archives

An American lady asked me, "Japanese tea cups, why do they come in different sizes?" It took me a while until I realized what she was asking. Basically she wanted to buy a pair, but she was frustrated because none of the pairs she saw in shops, came in an identical size.

Japanese tea cups are often sold in pairs or by a set of 5. Pair cups are often purchased as a gift to newly wed couples, big ones for husbands, and small for wives. And the idea of having a dedicated set of everyday dishes, that is also applied for chopsticks, rice bowls, and miso soup bowls. Recollecting how things were with my parents, we never ever mixed them up. I recall few cases when I used guest chopsticks, but those were the times I had a massive appetite as a child and had bit off a tip of my own chopsticks by mistake.

The more I think about this, this is essentially quite different from many cultures I have so far seen. In some countries I have visited, I noticed that people had a set of plates, cutleries, and cups with exact same shapes, and they did not belong a particular member of the family. The closest thing I have seen is the napkins for French people. They mark their own napkins with napkin rings so that they know which one is for who.

The difference is probably due to table manners: when you eat Japanese food, you are supposed to lift soup/rice bowls and bring closer to your mouth. In fact, bring yourself closer to dishes or tables, are considered to be very lousy. This naturally sets quite a strict criteria as tools have to be ergonomic, fitting into your own hands.

This actually brings me a new question: If Japanese are so keen on how dishes fit into their hands, why don't we have mobile phones with more diverse form factors with anthropometric considerations?

Returning to the topic of tea cups, if you are looking for guest tea cups that are sold in a set of four, you should forget about it. Sets will never come in fours as the number 4, shi, is pronounced exactly the same as the word death. Unlike the table manners, this is a common belief in Korea and China as well, thanks to the influence of Chinese characters across the Far East.

In above photo, there are two envelopes with two 10,000 yen bill inside. One is a proper way, the other one is not. Can you identify three mistakes?

Last week I worked as a coordinator and organized a few home interviews. As I was preparing for the payment, my mom saw how I prepared the envelope, which looked like the one at the bottom. Then she pointed out my three mistakes, and corrected as above.

Answers:
1) The face in bills. Should all be facing the front side of the envelope.
2) Bills should be crisp and new, not old and wrinkled.
3) Envelope should be plain. Should not use the ones that are used for mail delivery.



By the way, I should also add that there are also manners required on the recipient side: Even if anyone insists, do not look inside to check how much money is inside. When I gave the money away, not a single person checked how much was inside on the spot. Showing a doubt of the containment is already a beginning of impoliteness here.

While this seems like a very sophisticated manner, I am quite frustrated. I would rather have the content checked to make sure the business is good and done. In China, everyone instantly checked how much was inside. Of course actions are more obvious, but I felt quite comfortable in that context because that was the way people were responsible of each other, preventing serious consequences in case the content did not match what one claimed.

For small tips to weddings and funerals, how does your country deal with cash giving?